Miracle

Now I've made up my mind. I want to stick with my first research plan. Yep, it's not easy to do in terms of theory, but I know somehow it is possible. I still want to look at those 2 issues: poverty and human trafficking. I have been trying and trying this time to find a research question that is reasonable and interesting. Been changing around here and there, but always... end up with the one that I have been thinking of when I was back in Lund. I don't know how it ends up but hopefully I have good resources to base on. I'm so slow in understanding those theories but.. that's me.

Now another concern appears. I just heard from a PhD student who has done his Master thesis on similar issue in this country, that it's impossible to go to the field in such period of time. He himself needed 6 months to do his research. Besides, there are also some biases about how people meant by victims of trafficking. So... it is impossible.

My heart is broken. It's like killing my dream. And my plans. I try to change my topic several times in order to try to be realistic, but it's impossible. Besides, my interest is always about the women themselves so no matter how I change the topic, it's always about the women and their livelihood. I have not thought about another creature for this very topic just to avoid going to the field. Ah well, now I don't know if I would be able to write about the same topic again or not. Nor I know if I have the chance to go to the field.

In fact, I'm meeting my organization on Monday. Let's hear from them if they can help me reaching the field. I will decide later based on whatever they tell me. All I can do now is just try to be patient - which is so hard..

But anyway, kata Mariah Carey sama Whitney Huoston:
"There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill"

Amin.. amin.. Mudah-mudahan..